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Thankful 2020

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“For she did not know that I gave her grain, new wine, and oil, and multiplied her with silver and gold- which they prepared for Baal.” Hosea 2:8 God was talking about His people, Israel. God loved His people so much, and out of His love He lavished them with gifts. Grain, new wine and oil can be symbolic of God’s provisions in the bible. Grain can represent God’s physical or material provisions, new wine is often synonymous with joy in the bible, and oil used to mark spiritual anointing. God gave His people wealth, provisions of abundant food and safety, and He gave them Himself. But not only did they neglect to acknowledge these things as gifts, but they took those gifts and used them to worship, show affection for, and honor other gods. It breaks my heart to read this. I realize my own lack of gratitude for the gifts given from God’s own hands. It’s Thanksgiving, 2020.  Ironically, if 2020 has given us anything, it has been a clear vision of what we have taken for granted, the t...
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Snakes Without Faces

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I’ve had a misunderstanding of what spiritual warfare looks like. I had this visual that true, unshakable faith looked like meditating; sitting quietly, legs crossed, hands in lap, and soft smiles on lips while the war raged around me. But you know, I have found that I can’t seem to just tell myself to stay calm when it feels like my world is falling apart. And when I can’t stay calm, I start dumping shame on top of my anxiety because a good, faithful Christian should  simply says “I trust God” and that’d be the end of it. If you have ever experienced this, that is known as the shame cycle, because more shame, just begets more anxiety and so on. The past month seemed to be slammed with insecurities, rejection, and fear. I even had this dream where one of my ministry heroes attempted to comfort me by telling me that he had figured out my problem. He took me by the shoulders, looked me in the eye, smiling, and said “You just want attention.” I burst into tears and told him that h...
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Divided Loyalty

     You have felt something while scrolling your social media. A stirring of a strong emotion that builds and builds until you have to act on it. Tell me, has it broken your heart to see your community in dissension or have you been fueled and impassioned to join the war? Anger is easy, but it is a tender heart that God calls for. When we are betrayed and mistreated, the honest emotion is that we are hurt, but anger comes to our defense. Anger takes control of a situation for itself. Anger seeks its own justice. Anger seeks to validate itself. Sitting in our hurt takes vulnerability, it takes humility. It takes putting things in God’s hands and trusting His justice.  “God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs. God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth. God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be sat...
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The Gift

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To my friends, The Isaacs. For believing in me, investing in me, and sticking with me, thank you. “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God [that is, His remarkable, overwhelming gift of grace to believers] is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23 On a completely ordinary Tuesday, a friend dropped by my house and handed me a gift. Tearing back the wrapping paper revealed a crisp white box that held a very nice laptop. My friend explained that she and her husband had been wanting to buy me a laptop for a while, so I could finally retire the 10 year old one I'd been hanging onto. Though I didn’t think I could accept such a generous gift, I knew that this was just who they were; Generous. While I was grateful, I was honestly a little overwhelmed by the magnitude of their gift. It was easy for my mind to list off all the reasons why I didn’t deserve something so wonderful for absolutely nothing. A day later I told my friend that I felt like I couldn’t even ...
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